cant cope - going down hill

Steve Bayley

13 Posts
Sat, 12th November 2011, 7:56pm

Hey Adam,

                  I sympathise with your situation as I have lived through a very similar set of circumstances.

I find that it helps to write down what your situation is at the moment. Read through the list and then write down what you really want out of life. Take the list to your Doctor and get referred to a Psychologist.

You have already made some great steps forward in your future career.  Keep going.

You are not alone, and as the other shed members have described, you seem to have quite a cheer squad here to encourage you.

One day at a time. Change one thing in your life each day and keep building on your small victories.

Good luck Mate

Steve

Reply

Report abuse 0 Thumbs up

wines65

1,455 Posts
Sat, 12th November 2011, 10:14pm

Steve Bayley writes
--------------------------------------

Hey Adam,

                  I sympathise with your situation as I have lived through a very similar set of circumstances.

I find that it helps to write down what your situation is at the moment. Read through the list and then write down what you really want out of life. Take the list to your Doctor and get referred to a Psychologist.

You have already made some great steps forward in your future career.  Keep going.

You are not alone, and as the other shed members have described, you seem to have quite a cheer squad here to encourage you.

One day at a time. Change one thing in your life each day and keep building on your small victories.

Good luck Mate

 Sounds excellent advice, Steve.

Robert

wines65ofMargate(Ex Silentio)

Reply

Report abuse 0 Thumbs up

BoB006

3 Posts
Sun, 13th November 2011, 11:30pm

Hi, to all,I have been reading the letters on here & would just like to say a couple of things, If a person breaks something like an arm or a leg they go & c a Doctor or a Hospital, but if its something to do with depression or anxiety etc they should go to Either a Doctor or better still a Counsellor who will then refer you on to a Phycologist if need be, Centrecare or Beyond blue etc have Counsellors who will listen to you & give you the tools to assist you to help yourself to heal, Remember you are a VIP a Very Important Person, believe in yourself, Its not a sign of weakness to seek out help its a sign of a mature way of thinking, my experiene with Prozac was  as i was driving my car i had an overwelming urge to put my pedal to the metal & point my car at the nearest tree, i remember being very scared & trying to fight that thought & i won as im still here, if you dont get success with a particular Counsellor then change to 1 that will help as not all of them will be on the same planet sometimes.

Reply

Report abuse 0 Thumbs up

downunder

212 Posts
Mon, 14th November 2011, 10:51am

Hey BOB006, Good points all round, and underlies the importance of taking control of ones own treatment path to ensure you are being treated the best for you, too mant specialists are one tracked in their treatments and that does not suit all.

I had exactly the same experience with Prozac, it made me suicidal and I was driving along thinking "maybe that tree will do the job" every time I see an accident on TV where someone has smashed into a tree at incredible speed I wonder if they have Prozac in their system?

Reply

Report abuse 0 Thumbs up

Gary Cooper

666 Posts
Wed, 16th November 2011, 9:16am

G'day Downunder, BOB006 and other contributors>

Taking charge of one's own health is the first step to being positive and proactive. Taking notes, having pre-written questions, being accompanied by a mate or advocate, keeping hard or e-copies of blood reports, scans, biopsies, meds schedule - are all suggestions for attenndance at Drs/specialists.

I own and run the world's leading support group for the rare disease retroperitoneal fibrosis. Many members are bewildered, lost, isolated and lonely in the early days, principally because it's so hard to find a specialist (usually a urologist, nephrologist, haemotologist, oncologist, rheumatologist) with awareness or experience of the disease. I find that member participation in the support group goes a long way to helping suffers avoid depression and anxiety. The Shed Online plays a similar support role.

The moniker I use is :

My Health is My Business Too

Gary

Reply

Report abuse 0 Thumbs up

CambrianMan

12 Posts
Wed, 16th November 2011, 10:26am

Hi Adam, based on my experience and the available stats on the subject all point to having at least one major depressive episode  in one's life so you are not alone,been there ,done that. I cannot add any more advise that is already covered by others but form a routine just like when you worked or similar, inactivity is the thing to avoid it gives you more time to dwell on the negative. Seek medical advise if you find that the feelings of saddness or negativity last longer than 3 weeks do not wait any longer, if presribed medication then ask about the side effects some can be fairly uncomfortable and alarming, if you have a reaction go back to the Doctor and advise them, there are lots of anti depressive medications on the market, there is no quick fix pill for all. Side effects usally last for the first 14days and can include sweating, loose bowel movements, skin rashes, so read up get informed before you pop the first pill, you may be referred to a Psychologist for treatment (this is often in the form of behaviour management, with some insight to what triggers an event) or a Psychiatrist ( behaviour management with the use of medication) the choice is yours to make, if you feel you are getting no where with either or one of seek to change professionals with the advise of your Doctor. Keep a Journal from when you started so you can look back to see where you been and your progress to a new future it also helps the Doctors etc. if you can refer to a specific event and the circumstances around it often called "triggers". We live in a society that recognises a broken leg but has difficulty recognising a psychological event that is just a serious if not more. Finally do not give up, the journey may not be all roses and sunshine but it is worth it and you will have set backs but persistence, patience and perseverence will see you through to a happier life.      

Reply

Report abuse 0 Thumbs up

johnmac

6 Posts
Wed, 16th November 2011, 11:32am

Hi Adam,Seems to me that we all have our problems, in so many different ways.Just joined onto this site myself.After reading your first letter at top of screen ,was just about to send my reply.Then i read your last one futher down the page .

Mate I only wish my life was half as good(BAD) as yours sounds.Woke up this morning at 5am and laid in bed till nearly 8am. Just trying to find an excuse to get out of bed.The only thing that got me up,Was the sound of 30 odd canaries waiting for their braeakfast.If i hadn't got up they probaly would have died of starvation or thirst.See unlike you,I have no worries about meeting people ,and seem to fit in quite easily.But my problem is finding somebody or someplace where i can mix in.

Reply

Report abuse 0 Thumbs up

BoB006

3 Posts
Wed, 16th November 2011, 11:08pm

Hi Adam, it sounds to me that you have gained some coping skills in the battle to keep ontop of whats causing you concern, when some1 is seeing a Counsellor it usually takes 2 or more visits b4 you feel comfortable about communication with them, if they are skilled they will pick up where the issue is or you talking about everyday things might give the clue to the counsellor of what the issue is, which could be just that you are feeling like you are going mad (but you are not) but as we grow up our life involves many things that shape us along with our personality etc, you may be feeling underconfident because of the information your brain along with your lifes learnings have imparted on you, but let me tell you if you get the right counsellor you will feel like you have been born again & i dont mean in a religious way & you will skip down the road, but you must give the counsellor time & you to get to know each other for it to work, if you wont open up & maybe get a bit emotional or alot then its not time for you yet to get to the bottom of what is causing you to feel lost, please forgive me if i sound clinical as i have attempted about 6 modules in Prof Counselling but i didnt complete it as i dont aggree with the main stream of things im an individual like we all are but most people are just to busy trying to copy every1 else, I have been through counselling as i suffered post truamatic stress & a young lady counsellor helped me help myself for which im eternally gratefull.

Reply

Report abuse 0 Thumbs up

Ken_67

489 Posts
Wed, 16th November 2011, 11:32pm

Hello, Johnmac.

Meeting people and socialising is an important part of helping yourself to manage problems. Even joining a Men's Shed or other group that may only meet once or twice a month will help.The day itself will help you, and even the anticipation gives you something to plan and look foreward to between times. If you have any hobbies, see if there are any like-minded groups in your area. If you don't mix easily, don't worry. Go to a meeting ands just stand there. You will be surprised how many others there will be willing to walk up to you and start talking, and probably a lot of them felt or feel the same as you, and can understand.

Ken

Reply

Report abuse 0 Thumbs up

adam grant

51 Posts
Fri, 18th November 2011, 10:38pm

OK PLEASE READ THIS ONCE N FOR ALL

this is adam.   who posted this post long ago.

i am fine now , have been really fine for a couple of months now.

i feel great, im awake "not depressed", im enjoying life alot, i stopped taking my meds even after the 3rd attempt of going on them, dont worry, even my psychologist said i didnt need them when he saw how much i have changed. even my uni lecturer saw a new me with relief.

depression for me was a state of mind and thinking, which i have gotten myself OUT of. myself, yes the psychologist helped too. depression was all brought upon myself from my own decision and free will, from bad choices and the wrong way of looking at life and what happens in it.

if yous want to cure yourselves, STOP RIGHT NOW - START changing the way you think, refuse your mind from thinking or even slightly joking about every single negative thing you might say accidently, and think of a positive way of thinking - feeling - and saying things. im not saying that im ignoring what i went through, but i defnetly am preoccupying my time and precious minutes of life in thining about what i can do now and about tomorrow and HOW "I" can change it, what i can do now, or can work up to , to make my life better.  anyway  i feel great as i said, i am happy with me, and i refuse to let my mind  go into those depressive habits of thinking about what is wrong and not anything else. if only doctors gave their patients this simple info, thered be alot less people if any on medication and im sure in MOST cases, people can quickly cur themselves if they only had access to this information that i had

thanks to all those sending responses to my old post.

and i hope yous find the light "if you want to that is" make the decision right now., cos its yuor choice how you choose to live with your circumstances".  unless you prefer being this way, why dnot you try something new !!

Reply

Report abuse 1 Thumbs up

Ken_67

489 Posts
Sat, 19th November 2011, 11:44am

Hello, Adam.

It's good to see you dealt with your problem in such a positive way, but I think it is dangerous to suggest others should stop their medication or treatment. There are greatly varying levels of depression, and each person needs to be properly assessed by professional people, and treated accordingly.  Your comments tend to show a surprising lack of real knowledge about a genuine medical ailment that afflicts many people, and can seriously disrupt their whole lives.  I wish you well, but, please, read up more extensively on depression before you claim your methods can 'cure' everyone else.

Ken

Reply

Report abuse 0 Thumbs up

adam grant

51 Posts
Sun, 20th November 2011, 2:10am

some of these replies are really tiresome broken records KEN, your putting words in my mouth, where does it say i tell people to not take their meds ?   people arent stupid, or is that how you want them to seem?  most depression can be prevented by the person.  the mind is capable of feeling good as much as feeling bad, and anyone would choose good over bad, but many hthings out in the real world inject them with fear and limited options, no one helps these people properly with their minds, to feel good.  people have healed themselves from cancers even - e.g OLIVIA newton john and many others.   the depression that i went through was horrific, mentally physically spiritually.  most of these mental illnesses are from FEAR, people fearing their own minds that something is going to be a bad helpless way, keeping people in their depression, even medications, doctors telling them theres no fast cure, or anyone saying anything that isnt positive and helpfull.   what i did see in your reply is just that - not letting people think about my advice as someone who experienced it lst hand, and making people scared of trying to be positive about their own lives, i didnt find anything positive about your reply. positive thinking and training has HELPED more often then the real medications of many illnesses, EVEN DOCTORS will tell you this. i dont like your comment, instead of encourageing people to love themself and their lives as is and start to think better on their own, you sound like you are making an idiot out of me at the same time, people come on this site for help, if something works for me im going to share it, its up to the person to decide wether it is for them, not people like you turning them back making me seem like an uneducated fool. i would like not to have comments from negative people to my posts thanks, join another group, this should be a place for positive options . the mind chooses to respond depressingly - just as the mind can choose wiser happiness

Reply

Report abuse 0 Thumbs up

wines65

1,455 Posts
Sun, 20th November 2011, 9:32am

Adam,

Because of a disagreement with Admin, I intended to not post any further messages in the Shed. However, I do feel strongly about having to respond to your posts.

It is wonderful to hear that you have cured yourself in the way that you say you have. Like Ken, I too originally thought that you were suggesting that people with depression, don't really need medication. However, I can now see your point. As I have gone through many bad times, trying to end my life on a number of instances, I do feel happy for you to have cured yourself.

However, I just wish to make one point, depression is a roller coaster ride. Many times in the past 12 years, I have felt just like you have described. I welcomed these times because they were a respite from my bad times. Unfortunately, those good times never lasted and the worst thing that I ever did was to believe that I did not need medication any longer. I soon crumbled. My partner at the time, could always tell if I wasn't taking my medication, by the way I spoke and acted and she quickly persuaded me to start back on the medication. As I said, I only wanted to put this experience forward as a balance.

There are those that have to rely on professional support, treatment and medication. Depression is an illness and can be lifelong. Management is the only way to handle this illness.

I wish you well Adam.

Robert

wines65ofMargate(Ex Silentio)

Reply

Report abuse 0 Thumbs up

downunder

212 Posts
Sun, 20th November 2011, 10:28am

Hey guys,

I can understand Adam's frustration that he has had major improvements since first posting this topic, many of the "broken records" are newbies that do relate to the topic title though, and even though it may frustrate Adam he has started a topic that has encouraged a few to post for the first time which is good.

Maybe if Admin can cooperate it may be better to lock this post now to stop any further posting in it?

Reply

Report abuse 0 Thumbs up

Ken_67

489 Posts
Sun, 20th November 2011, 10:32am

Hello, Adam.

I regret if you feel I have offended you; I was merely trying to point out that the mental disease of depression is far more complex than you seem to think. It is not simply a matter of mindset. Medical science recognises that it is a chemical imbalane in the brain, that often needs medication to try to correct that imbalance. I should point out that i did not state that you were telling people to stop their meds; I was saying that the implications of your words should not be taken lightly without proper professional consultation.

I am pleased for you, that you have found a way to deal with your own problem, and I hope things continue to improve for you, but please don't assume those methods will work for everyone.

Ken

Reply

Report abuse 0 Thumbs up

adam grant

51 Posts
Sat, 26th November 2011, 12:45am

if sumone told me about this secret i know about mking your mind feel good, and that feeling bad is mostly going to make you spiral. it would have saved me decades of hardship,  and yes it does anger me when i hear people always adding a negative to a positive, and that past life was in a way a waste of my good years and youth, if only sumone would have told me what i know now,  wow,  if only, what a difference my life wuold have made.  so post away, but keep it happy n positive`. anyway for me,  what i am doing is working, has anyone tried it themselves 100% for a month,  it feels great. good luck guys

Reply

Report abuse 0 Thumbs up

adam grant

51 Posts
Sat, 26th November 2011, 2:17am

only reason im in here is cos i want to help others that might find my experiences useful , instead of being told it dusnt work, when i am living it.  i tried herbs n foods too,helped for a wile, tried meds- not worth the sideeffects, tried doctors, not alot of help, almost useless, tried alcohol, Y do people drink alcohol, it makes things wers, tried psychologist, 1 out of 3 it took to find the right one, helped on n off for time being, got me started but what realy made it stick is what i tried doing what i do now, even when ive gotten those backwoods thoughts, they go away cos i know now not to "allow myself to think in that like that - negatively" i deserve better then that , u desereve better, and i was subconciously doing it to myself being depressed about real things, without really being aware of it, but not anymore.  so im here to give others insight, for those who can, options, alternatives, we are not here to put others down by filling them with negative things about there disease, we should be using this opertunity to uplift those who are down, so shame on all you guys that thought you were doing good, but give this a good read.  have a read of my 1st post and have a read of this.    drugs is not the anser, but by other means, do things that make you feel good n happy and helpfull to others, volantary work, join the S.E.S or R.F.S, go to places yuo always wanted to go, sing dance, dont give a crap whatthe person nex to yu thinks of yu, he dusnt know yuo  and has no right to comment, laugh, watch funny films, visit people you havnt seen in a while, apologize and truce to those you have wronged or have wronged yuo AND DONT ask for anything back whose ever fault it is isnt important, look forward, give youself 100 wishes, write them down everyday and read them lst thing when you wake up , and before bed, WHAT EVER THEY ARE, even impossible things, wish it, its your right to wish, believe in them, treat yourself the way you wish others would be towards you.

Reply

Report abuse 0 Thumbs up

wines65

1,455 Posts
Sat, 26th November 2011, 9:45am

Hi Adam,

If, as you say in a previous post, this is a secret, should you be telling the world? That means that it won't be a secret any longer. Won't you be putting psychologists and psychiatrists out of work? I just cannot understand why someone hasn't let the secret out sooner. Would have saved me a lot of headache, stress, worry etc, not to mention all the dollars I have spent on treatment.

I suppose the thing is to look forward and not backward. I will save in the future and no stress and worry in the future.

Thank God someone finally got up the courage to tell this secret.

Robert of Margate

wines65ofMargate(Ex Silentio)

Reply

Report abuse 0 Thumbs up

adam grant

51 Posts
Sun, 27th November 2011, 5:53pm

THANK YOU   FINALLY   THATS WHAT THIS SITE SHOULD BE ABOUT,  YEEEHAAA.  AND yes  thats exactly right,  pass the message to everyone you know, and psychologists can assist the process alot, they help you float to the top for some air

Reply

Report abuse 0 Thumbs up

wines65

1,455 Posts
Sun, 27th November 2011, 8:20pm

I have seen a lot of fish that float to the top. Is this what you are talking about?

wines65ofMargate(Ex Silentio)

Reply

Report abuse 0 Thumbs up