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128 Posts
Sat, 6th August 2011, 6:05pm
Hi Geoff,
I reckon that sending cards is a top idea - your right about writing in a positive frame of mind. I find I can write in a depressed state and after a while it doesn't matter anymore - I seem to write myself into a more accepting state. - I don't think anyone gets sick of getting cards. It really shows someone that you were thinking of them and that happens so little these days.
Al
Illegitimis Non Carborundum
212 Posts
Sat, 6th August 2011, 6:13pm
Hey Scottdot,
Stand tall and always remember no-one can hurt you unless you let them.
It's a sad thing to say but many still have such a backward concept of depression, we know better and I believe that makes us better people.
1 Post
Mon, 8th August 2011, 12:25am
Hi all, Glenn from North Queensland
Think reality has hit home tonight that I think I do have depression, an eye opener reading through the posts here seeing a lot of similarities. Be good to get in touch with someone to talk to as at the moment i just feel alone, can't bring myself to talk about it to anyone I know through embarrasment and uncertainty. Lost my job last year, marriage falling apart, don't know whether I want to stay and can't motivate myself to do anything.
I'm coasting through life at the moment, shitty job, basically spend the rest of my time watching footy and wasting time on the net. Have two beautiful girls from my wifes first marriage that I think of as my own, have been with them since they were 3 & 6 11 years now, but I feel like i've lost all respect from them and my wife. Just feel paralysed, she's either given up on me, found someone else or just doesn't care anymore more and I can't say I blame her.
Would love to find someone just to talk to for a start I guess, just want to try and get my life back on track and hopefully save my marriage.
212 Posts
Mon, 8th August 2011, 1:20am
Hi GLENNA, welcome aboard.
Sounds like you have finally made the first steps in admitting you are in trouble and need help, hopefully you have a good GP you might be able to talk to?
Time to start taking "Baby steps" to see if you can save your family situation, little things can start to make big differences when they are noticed.
Nearly 1am here so I am crashing for the night, others will be here to welcome you too.
1,463 Posts
Mon, 8th August 2011, 9:29am
Good morning Glenna,
Isn't it really weird how we can live our lives and all of a sudden, realise that something is wrong. It seems from what you have written, that you have not been happy for a while now. As you now seem to realise this, do you think its time to firstly get some professional help i.e. a GP at first, then get yourself together again. You will notice from this site, that there are many others in a similar situation to yourself. Throughout our lives, we all fall at times. The trick is to get back up on your feet and move forward. You have taken the first step by coming to realise that you have a problem. The next step is to do something about that. You will feel much better realising that you are doing something about your problem and not just sitting there feeling bad.
Good luck and take care,
Robert
p.s. could you drop a post every now and then to let us know how you are getting on.
wines65ofMargate(Ex Silentio)
131 Posts
Mon, 8th August 2011, 9:59am
Hi Glenn,
I know exactly where you are at. I didn't tie things together until I had lost my marriage and my job and moved to the other side of the country where I mistakenly believed I was going to start again. When I found myself huddled in a corner crying my eyes out for no good reason the penny finally dropped.
I found a good GP who recognised the problem put me on medication and signed me up for a support course which was a great help. The medication worked the course helped me explain to others about the "normality" of my problem and I started to rebuild.
I like to think that I am okay now although still on the medication and I still have times of down feelings but there are no more crashes and I have my distractions when I feel the weight coming on.
So I would recommend seeing a GP, and if the first one wont listen see another one, and get some support from as many sources as possible. Talk to your misses and tell her that you are trying to change and that you just need a little time. When the meds kick in in about a week to 10 days you will find that the clouds will clear and you will start and see where you have been (for me this was a great revelation) and see where you want to be. However you will still need support so don't be afraid to ask.
Good luck stay in touch, we will be thinking of you,
Peter
Negotiating another of lifes speed bumps
108 Posts
Mon, 8th August 2011, 11:17am
Welcome to you GlennA to our particular band of brothers. We all share a common bond and we genuinely know what you are going through. It is great that you are wanting to talk. Do not be embarrsed by this or even letting your own prejudices colour you way of thinking like it did to me some years back. Like the song goes you are not crazy just unwell. It maybe important that you get your partner involved in the process so that she can understand and see plight and encourage you in your efforts. Stay strong our brother we are all by your side. If you want more private contact Google or Facebook me.
regards Carey Akers.
caza
128 Posts
Wed, 10th August 2011, 7:06pm
Hi Brendon79,
My wife and I both suffer from depression too, I think the thing that is really hard is actually finding time for your own depression - I personally find myself spiralling and not wanting to partake in the world so to speak - but she is crashing and so I've got to go out and deal with the world and get what's needed, snarling at people who smile etc. I find myself not paying attention to my feelings because I'm looking after her, which in the end really makes things much worse. My advice is take some shed time - I've got a little group of mates I play some music with which really helps. Of course gothe GP and counciling stuff too.
AL
Illegitimis Non Carborundum
128 Posts
Wed, 10th August 2011, 7:19pm
Hi Scottdot,
From what you're saying, it sounds to me like you might not be the only one there with a problem. There are many miladies that women suffer which are very hurtful to their partners and do lead to depression and suicide. I obviously don't know any of the full details, there's a couple of symtoms there that ring some bells - ask your councillor if they consider her behaviour to fall into any sort of personality disorder. Psyicological abuse can have the same affect as phyisical and does fall into the category of domestic violence. Many men suffer the same problems.
Al
Illegitimis Non Carborundum
28 Posts
Thu, 11th August 2011, 9:31am
When you feel your last line of defence is about to fall & realise you can't pretend anymore what do you do?
131 Posts
Thu, 11th August 2011, 10:29am
Hi Jason,
Tell us more we are listening!!
Peter
Negotiating another of lifes speed bumps
28 Posts
Thu, 11th August 2011, 11:42am
Peter,
I suffered deppresion quite a few years ago & got myself back on track again after a marriage break up. I remaariied nearly 2 years ago & have my 8 year old son living with us. Lately my son has been playing up a fair bit which slowly but shorely has been putting strain on at home. I thought I could keep pushing on & dealing with things. Un fortunately I don't think I'm doing as well as I've been pretending to. As i know from before things snowball very quickly & I made the mistake of letting my guard down. Now my drive & care factor for things is just about gone. Everything is becoming to hard.
Thanks for listening.
212 Posts
Thu, 11th August 2011, 2:02pm
Hi Jason, it is incredibly heartbreaking when you think you have managed to beat the depression and are on track for some time, then wham it hits you again.
Always remember it can be a cycle at times but each cycle can help you to learn and become stronger with the right attitude, and remember the good in the cycles not just the negative.
Sounds like you may need to take whatever time is needed to find out why your son is playing up? Is he missing his Mother, is it just a stage, is he being bullied, is he developing learning problems and not coping at school? A talk to the teacher and then of course your GP for advice may bring some light onto why this is so.
28 Posts
Thu, 11th August 2011, 2:31pm
I have already gone through trying to see if there are any problems with my son at school & everything there seems ok. As for his mother she didn't want us & in trying to make sure my son was ok we went to a child physcologist some how she ended up trying to make me the paitent & dragged up alot of the past & I think thats when the defences started to breakdown.
212 Posts
Thu, 11th August 2011, 2:52pm
Jason Smith writes
--------------------------------------I have already gone through trying to see if there are any problems with my son at school & everything there seems ok. As for his mother she didn't want us & in trying to make sure my son was ok we went to a child physcologist some how she ended up trying to make me the paitent & dragged up alot of the past & I think thats when the defences started to breakdown.
Hi again Jason, that helps us understand a bit more of where you are at, dragging up the past does effect many people the same way, for some it can be positive, for others not so unfortunately.
I am wondering if he may be at the age where he needs an activity outside the home? Something he can take some personal pride and interest in? We are terribly broke but we still managed to put our 2 through dance then music lessons from around that age, but there is also things like Scouts, PCYC, Horse riding, Athletics, Football, etc whatever is available in your area he may take a liking to?
This would at least give you some respite and a chance to spend some quiet time with the Mrs.
28 Posts
Fri, 12th August 2011, 8:30am
Another day breaks & don't understand why one day feeling so terrible & the next feeling like I want to get out there & challange the world. Very confused today. Hope evryone else is doing well today.
Jason
212 Posts
Fri, 12th August 2011, 10:44am
Good morning Jason, it helps so much to get things off the chest sometimes, have a great day and look around to see if there is anything else here to participate in, if not create something :-)
108 Posts
Fri, 12th August 2011, 1:33pm
Jason life is like that but you know here that you have mates who are willing to correspond with you. We know where you are at. We have been/going through that. Keep up the posts.
regards Carey Akers
caza
1,463 Posts
Fri, 12th August 2011, 5:41pm
Good afternoon Jason,
Life is full of ups and downs and if you suffer from depression, the ups and downs become more regular. We all have them believe me. You have to learn how to react to these ups and downs and medication has been designed to even them out a bit and make your life a little more level. However, its a good idea if the person can learn some little tricks to help when these ups and downs get bad. I suppose that professionals may be able to help you come up with some little tricks however, in the end, its up to you. In my case (and I do not mean that I am an expert), I learnt my own ways of handling these situations. I only formulated these ideas when I was at rock bottom and I knew that I had to start to climb back up. My ideas do work for me. Last Sunday, after a reasonable length of time, I had another bad day, completely out of the blue and without any warning. I put my plans into action immediately and I was able to straighten myself out very quickly, before things got too bad. Recognition of your problems at an early stage is very important, so that you can implement your plans quickly. You have a lot of family problems which understandably, would affect most people. You won't be able to sort those problems out if you allow yourself to become depressed and down on yourself. Think about what I wrote and see if you understand what I mean. I do wish you the best and I do hope that you are able to sort out your family problems. However, try and sort your own problems out first, ok ??
Robert
wines65ofMargate(Ex Silentio)
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