Happiness & Contentment.

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Topic: Happiness & Contentment.

NiBula's avatar

NiBula

21 Posts
Tue, 10th September 2013, 9:08am - updated - Tue, 10th September 2013, 9:18am

Interaction with one another in this shed forum seems to hinge a lot on personal issues of health and wellbeing and the pattern invariably depicts a need of understanding and inspiration to helping one another to seek happiness and contentment for whatever personal problems we have incurred in our lifespan. It is simply pitiful to read so much negative response on various matters highlighting the need for assistance and solutions to issues which many are as archaic as human evolution on this earth.

First of all, one needs to ask ourselves the question whether we are content with being alive and what we already have in our lives and be truly grateful before we could accede our desires of a better improved standard of living thus making us more happier and contented. It is an individual proviso that reaps us rewards and outcomes if we only understood that being positive in life has many heartwarming results if we are focused on our individual needs rather than keeping up with the Joneses in order to be admired and respected in society.

Happiness and contentment is a state of mind which recognizes the individual needs without being influenced by the surroundings and expectations of society.Once we can get our minds to thinking positive and acting positive, life goals are more achievable thus creating a sense of peace and contentment whereby we can help others to succeed as well. To be in this state of mind and wellbeing how we portray our image is so important to relay our goodness with folks we come into contact with each day and it has great bearing how people will be attracted to our midst. 

We strive to succeed and not let failures blind and deter us to giving up hope. I personally have achieved much more in life than I ever expected simply because I have conducted myself as how I have shared above and I have been genuinely surprised with how much doors opened up for me to achieve when I least expected it. These are the joys of life and it all hinges on being positive throughout life and I can only vouch how much happiness and contentment it has created for me.


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Netep's avatar

Peter Malyon

150 Posts
Tue, 10th September 2013, 9:58am

Hi Nibula,

 

I used to be positive but after working hard, being honest, accepting anyone for who they are and generally trying to make my little space in the world more content I discovered that nice guys come last. It seems the rsholes are able to provide for their families better and they dont give a dam about anyone else. I was brought up to respect other people and so I get walked all over. I realise now, late in my life, that my biggest success in life has been being a complete failure. There is no contentment, there is rare happiness but it is always coloured by knowing in the back of your mind that it has no substance. Life is a struggle.

I now look back on the years of bipolar and think that while I was Mr Hyde I had more achievment in my life and while I was Dr Jekyll I enjoyed the highs and madness. Now I am a medicated depressed old man who sees no point in being here. I hear people say that happiness is a state of mind, but if there is no security of achievment to lean on there seems little basis for it. When I am gone there will be nothing to mark that I was ever here and while that may be a good thing enviromentally it does nothing to improve your feeling of worth to the world.

Peter


Negotiating another of lifes speed bumps

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NiBula's avatar

NiBula

21 Posts
Tue, 10th September 2013, 12:11pm

Hi Peter,

Thanks for your candid views & opinion on the subject of happiness and contentment. As you mentioned your bipolar illness, I can sympathize with you that life is always a struggle and it can be all the more traumatic trying to cope with that condition. I have a friend who is bipolar as well and it is sad that his illness has polarized him from his family and friends and I fully understand what you have shared with me about your condition of not being able to gel with society in as far as happiness and contentment are concerned. I simply haven't a clue how one can deal and overcome bipolar illness so that life can start improving for you and perhaps develop into the situation of happiness and peace in your life.

In developing your environment of peace, happiness and contentment, what I shared in my last paragraph about being passionate to succeed in spite of hardships and failures, nothing is achieved by giving in too easily and one must persevere with support and encouragement from family and friends. If these essentials aren't available at your disposal, then it is simply a struggle for an individual to succeed.


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wines65's avatar

wines65

1,819 Posts
Tue, 10th September 2013, 2:51pm

Peter Malyon writes
--------------------------------------

Hi Nibula,

 

I used to be positive but after working hard, being honest, accepting anyone for who they are and generally trying to make my little space in the world more content I discovered that nice guys come last. It seems the rsholes are able to provide for their families better and they dont give a dam about anyone else. I was brought up to respect other people and so I get walked all over. I realise now, late in my life, that my biggest success in life has been being a complete failure. There is no contentment, there is rare happiness but it is always coloured by knowing in the back of your mind that it has no substance. Life is a struggle.

I now look back on the years of bipolar and think that while I was Mr Hyde I had more achievment in my life and while I was Dr Jekyll I enjoyed the highs and madness. Now I am a medicated depressed old man who sees no point in being here. I hear people say that happiness is a state of mind, but if there is no security of achievment to lean on there seems little basis for it. When I am gone there will be nothing to mark that I was ever here and while that may be a good thing enviromentally it does nothing to improve your feeling of worth to the world.

Peter

Hi Peter,

It must be post-election blues because what you say, sure hits it on the head. Sadly, I have to agree with you and I am sure that there are many members in here who probably have similar thoughts. This morning, I thought that I might go to a coffee shop for some breakfast for a change. Trying to recover from possibly the last treatment on my back and I am really going through hell at the moment. I have been in hell before on a number of occasions, and there is this door way at the back. Well, I feel like I have gone through hell and now passed through this door into a worse hell.

I thied going out yesterday and had to return home before getting to where I was going. Today, I made it to the coffee shop. There was this family and friends at the shop with the youngies kids and their old parents. After watching them for a while, they so reminded me of the times when we used to go out to such get-togethers and take our parents along. For some reason, it made me very sad as I can no longer be part of that sort of gathering. It also highlighted that the oldies may have been there only for the sole purpose of looking after the kids while the younger ones chatted non-stop or was on the mobile. I am very sorry that I went to the coffee shop. 

Today, I have been wondering how those with dementia actually feel. If it takes away all the sadness and pain, then I would hope that I get it soon.

I did feel so positive going into the recent back treatment but its not going to work, I know.

I do feel sad with your post as sometimes in the past, you have sounded quite positive with your life. I do envy those who are strong enough to be able to keep all the shit out. Afterall, I think that we are supposed to grow old happily.

Bob 


wines65ofMargate(Ex Silentio)smiley-cool.gif

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Mutawintji's avatar

Mutawintji

304 Posts
Sat, 21st September 2013, 8:16am

Hi Peter & Bob,

Have either of you tried a men's shed ? It works for my stepfather.

They are great places and good friendship and companionship. As well, there is an intangible internal reward in accomplishing something with manual skills.

I recommend them. They will even roster to pick you up if your disabled. Once you start going you will find yourself looking forward to it.

Cool bananas ... Greg


'Blondie says I must hate all Brunettes. I'll try, but if I can't ... I'll love them both'
... graffiti on Tavern wall, Pompeii, circa AD 70.

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Colinjames's avatar

Colinjames

68 Posts
Sat, 21st September 2013, 11:33am

Hi Nibula.

I agree with you 100%. Happiness comes from being congtent within yourself about what you have done and have achieved in this life. I've read a little on Bhuddism and what you say runs pretty much parallel with their concepts on living a "happy" life. They have the four Noble Truths which are a pathway to finding inner peace. Keep well. CJ


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Mikel's avatar

Mikel

2 Posts
Mon, 23rd September 2013, 6:21pm

Hi Nibula and Peter,

I would like to relate my story,

For many years I didn't care too much about a number of things.

I gambled too much and in fact gambled my first house away.

I drank far more than I should have and for a number of years was very unfaithful to my wife and family.

My wife knew about these affairs but continued to love me. Although I think she lost a lot of respect for me.

During this time I lost a lot of self esteem and became very depressed.

One day I realised that I was going to be the one who would suffer most from my actions.

I now don't gamble and am faithful to my partner of 53 years. Life has never been better nor have I been more content.

My Mantra is to only think about the positives in life and never think about the negatives.

However I can never forgive myself for that early behaviour.


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NiBula's avatar

NiBula

21 Posts
Fri, 22nd November 2013, 5:01pm

Hi Colin James,

It is gratitfying to hear that you agree 100 % with my sharing on happiness and contentment and you are reading a little on Buddhism which teaches a lot about discipline, dedication and great understanding of the philosophies of inner peace and happiness through meditation. Buddhism is basically a life of total discipline to the ideals of self awareness and purpose of life as an individual to alleviate pain and suffering that most human beings experience. It is a religious following mainly in the Asian countries of India and China and upholds stringent lifestyles of isolation and meditation to create awareness and understanding amongst communities who experience sufferings through lack of wisdom to live within their environment.

Just reading various sharings of others how their lives have taken different difficult paths of pain, emotional, mental and physical upheaval, these in most cases reflect back to their influence and upbringing while growing up that they didn't have the exposure of a secure loving environment whereby the early grounding of discipline, education as well as a loving environemt to induce these qualities of happiness and contentment. Parenting nowadays is so complicated where the basic elements are lacking in many instances of child rearing and responsibilities. We tend to take things for granted and let the schools take responsibilities for our kids education and how to grow up as successful adults in every sense of the word.


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NiBula's avatar

NiBula

21 Posts
Fri, 22nd November 2013, 5:24pm

Hi Mikel,

The only way we will improve our lives is through our own experiences of failures and the wrong choices in life. We only have ourselves to blame and it only needs self-awareness and realization to acknowledge our errors in life and make a firm commitment to change that lifestyle with the help of family and friends and be totally focused for what it needs to achieve happiness and contentment back in our lives. Good on you that you have made that commitment and feeling totally changed as a new age man with vigour and conviction.

Life is tough as many of us haven't realized that, otherwise we wouldn't have given up too easily in perusing happiness and contentment. This men's shed certainly has the platform to help and inspire other shedders struggling through life and one must start talking postive rather than negative that "you can't do it". Yes all of us can achieve what we desire in life and we just have to change our mindset in thinking positive and willing to give our lives a second, third or fourth chance to aspire to greater heights of happiness and contentment in life. Feeling self-pity and other negative emotions will not help anyone to attain what we want in life and that's all to it.


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IanD's avatar

IanD

9 Posts
Fri, 29th November 2013, 11:35am

One thing that can help your outlook on life is to say 'thank you'. Perhaps when you have some quiet time or go to bed at night just to reflect on the positives of the day, your life and the fortune we recieve in many ways can change your perspective. The small things could be the enjoyable fragrence of a flower, an enjopyable cup of coffee, finding ten cents on the footpath. Bigger things can be the pleasant environment we live in, the many opportunities we have been given (and still recieve), love etc.

It's worth a try.

Cheers

Ian


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NiBula's avatar

NiBula

21 Posts
Fri, 29th November 2013, 12:16pm

Totally agree with you Ian as small mercies are all we should be most grateful for and need to acknowledge in our lives. Taking time to smell the flowers, spending time with the children and your partner are precious moments we all treasure and that indeed makes us feel inner peace and happiness that can't be bought.

 

It is said that if we focus on positivity, we will certainly experience great joy, happiness and contentment as our lives will never seem dull or boring but rather challenging and rewarding. Our fears and negativity in life will always fail us and render insecurity, the state of not geling in this world. 


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artwombat's avatar

artwombat

1,688 Posts
Fri, 29th November 2013, 1:25pm

I am sure that Happiness and Contentment are not the answer.

What we all need is ENTHUSIASM because with the big "E" we can overome adversity

We have all had a crack at life and some have got the short straw but we all got lucky when all the pairings back to year dot were favourable for us.

 


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NiBula's avatar

NiBula

21 Posts
Sat, 30th November 2013, 8:42am

Hi Artwombat,

The subject of this column is how to develop happiness and contentment in order to be successful in life is the gist of my contribution when I broached this subject. What I have observed in this Shed forum is a lot of negative emotions of pain, disappointment and frustrations which doesn't help inspire shedders on the path to recovery of good health, happiness and contentment.

Enthusiam is a by-product of happiness and contentment once we have achieved that status and I can't imagine a person being enthusiatic without feeling happy and contented in life to take on other challenges to improve his status. My personal achievements in life are testament to being happy and contented in what I have been contributing to society to inspire others for their successes. I am a mentor and sports coach for the best part of 40 years and the legacy of my involvement has been the gratitude and acknowledgement bestowed on me as the life member of a sporting organization and that certainly has given me much enthusiam being happy and contented to what I have contributed to society.

Life is not driven by luck but how we manifest our own destiny and futures. If we don't change our mindsets about evolving positive atitudes, nothing will fall on our laps like snow on our heads during winter. If we are subjected to negativity, we will be the ourcome and result of negative thoughts and emotions and we all know where that is taking our lives to. I can only encourage shedders to gravitate towards positive people and absorbe sharing on this forum, messages of hope and positive outcomes to help us along with life's struggles.


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Fab's avatar

Fab

1,046 Posts
Sat, 30th November 2013, 5:13pm - updated - Sat, 30th November 2013, 5:14pm

My opinions is that no living creature on this planet can ever be happy and content for a long period of time.

If you are an insect or an animal your period of contentment is after a kill and a feed and a sleep and other things and then anxiety returns with hunger and avoiding other predators who also seek contentment.

I think  man as a hunter/gatherer felt these waves of anxiety and contentment also.

After retirement I was in nirvana with not a care in the world but after a period of time anxiety sets in again, granted at a lower level.

Lawn needs mowing,shopping to do ect.

Think it is in our nature to have a little stress in our lives.


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NiBula's avatar

NiBula

21 Posts
Sat, 30th November 2013, 8:00pm - updated - Sat, 30th November 2013, 8:03pm

Hi Fab,

If human beings are classified as creatures then I quite agree that we will live very similar to insects and animals who survive on instinct. But I'm of the opinion that humans have a brain to think and determine their destiny while living animals merely survive instinctly without having to think or plan their every move.

Humans have evolved for centuries and developed into knowledgeable beings who better themselves through constant exposure through learning new technology and knowledge of survival to improve their standard of living. No one forces another person into situations of improving standards of living and is entirely an individual choice to evolve or not to evolve and remain stagnant. That is every individual's destiny and it totally hinges on the environment we live in.

Take for instance the communal lifestyles of Pacific Islanders who live in villages as one people whereby they help one another in growing their own food crops off the land and catch their fish off the sea and they don't have dissension amongst themsleves and practically solve any problems amongst the community with regular village meetings. That is a very strong foundation for family upbringing and is not a trait of individualism who focus only on individual needs. The western traditions have flaws of not helping one another in times of hardships until there's a major catastrophy where the government and people are rallied to assist whatever way they can. We have much to learn about family values in a communal sense and there are so much benevolence that co-exist in a community in village life.

I leave you to ponder on this point that whatever situations that we have been exposed to, will we develop into the outcomes of those environment whether positive or negative? It is something for each of us to think about and if we haven't an idea, then it is indeed a sad day for us as human beings that we haven't been able to progress.


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artwombat's avatar

artwombat

1,688 Posts
Sat, 30th November 2013, 8:13pm

NiBula writes
--------------------------------------

Hi Artwombat,

The subject of this column is how to develop happiness and contentment in order to be successful in life is the gist of my contribution when I broached this subject. What I have observed in this Shed forum is a lot of negative emotions of pain, disappointment and frustrations which doesn't help inspire shedders on the path to recovery of good health, happiness and contentment.

Enthusiam is a by-product of happiness and contentment once we have achieved that status and I can't imagine a person being enthusiatic without feeling happy and contented in life to take on other challenges to improve his status. My personal achievements in life are testament to being happy and contented in what I have been contributing to society to inspire others for their successes. I am a mentor and sports coach for the best part of 40 years and the legacy of my involvement has been the gratitude and acknowledgement bestowed on me as the life member of a sporting organization and that certainly has given me much enthusiam being happy and contented to what I have contributed to society.

Life is not driven by luck but how we manifest our own destiny and futures. If we don't change our mindsets about evolving positive atitudes, nothing will fall on our laps like snow on our heads during winter. If we are subjected to negativity, we will be the ourcome and result of negative thoughts and emotions and we all know where that is taking our lives to. I can only encourage shedders to gravitate towards positive people and absorbe sharing on this forum, messages of hope and positive outcomes to help us along with life's struggles.


Thanks mate, I am sure your sporting experience supports your words.

The nothing new much promoted "think positive" wears a bit thin because it works but only in controlled conditions like kicking a goal on the sports field. Life tho with all it is uncontrolled situations and interactions is not that simple. We have to make many compromises in real life and the scoreboard is not as simple as numbers on a wall.

You know as well as I do that even on the sports field, thinking positive without attention to detail is a recipe for failure.

More practical advice might be:

Learn to think for yourself and pay attention to detail, enjoy good company when you can.

 


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NiBula's avatar

NiBula

21 Posts
Mon, 2nd December 2013, 7:25am

Hi Artwombat,

Nothing attempted is nothing gained and sometimes that takes the best part of one's life to achieve the goals we desire. Rome certainly wasn't built in a day and I have witnessed too many folks giving up in life simply because they haven't been supported, cajoled and understood what makes life clicks to a higher level.

I happen to know that what we achieve in life from all forms of involvement will transcend to one another in all walks of life, sporting to social, careers and vice versa. Success in sports or one's working career has influence to improving a person's character in all sphere of life and that is a rich legacy to be in. The state of mind has a clear bearing to where all human beings are headed for and without this type of pesonal development one will invariably be lost in the wilderness.


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oz_rhino's avatar

oz_rhino

18 Posts
Thu, 30th January 2014, 11:27am

Thanks Artwombat, Enthusiasm - thats what my life is lacking!, Im an electrician with a beautiful wife and plenty to be happy about. But i just want to do some fine tuning... I joined 'the men shed' website years ago but didnt feel at home with much older men with much older/ bigger problems. But they got this whole 'mantherapy" tv advert running at the moment so i thought i'd have another go (i got the week of work/ wisdom teeth out) Im a problem solver, and i make connections others dont, but i get depressed when i cant make 'the pieces fit', key words, phrases?, definately rediscovering forgotten amusements all drastically improve my mood. I.E the back of a mantherapy.com video had a youtube link to 'dr katz', i used to love that show on tv but it was on late, i only saw a few episodes here and there, BUT THEY GOT THE INTERNET NOW!, yee-ha afternoon sorted! and your post- key word enthusiasm!, all these other guys posts are all ' yea but its chicken or the egg, blah, blah'  Hey they never heard of Reddit.com and i bet theres a r/enthusiasm. So forget the embittered bloggers Artwombat - 'If you only changed one persons life, something something, IT WAS WORTH IT! PS I wrote the first man shed book review 'Catcher in the Rye' everyone hated it, but it got the most views, was the most controversial and the moderators wanted more!